Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"You are A Dizzy Bitch"

Hello Jazzlovers...

Another Beautiful Day in Beautiful Bahrain...

" You are a diiizzzzy Biitcchh"! My Mother once said to me in the way only a Southern Lady can!! It brought me up sharp because my Mother had never called me out of my name...I had often heard her call my sister a "Borrowed face heifer " for reasons that are for my sister to tell....But for me it was the first made an impact...The situation was, it was a holiday and we were at my sisters house, ( I think Christmas) I had just turned 20 a couple of weeks before.My sisters oldest son was about 6 years old and had been give a drum set for Christmas..We were in the den and dancing to old school, when I realised that my Nephew was playing along with the music..I stopped in mid step to listen!!!when I heard  " You are a diiizzzzy Biitcchh"! Big maybelle

It only took me a second to realize family was by now acoustomed to my oddities, but my brother in laws family were not and all of them were looking at me with smirks..My mother was very protective of me..But I know it was not the situation we were in at the time that caused her to say this to me...And today i know she was right. I feel I have walked through life with blinders on as to what others see in me..I now realize how lucky I have been in my innocence I realize just how good God has been  to me.. Nellie Lutcher

One of the most amazing moments in my life was the moment I realilized that the thing I most wanted in life I would never have. ("Hope springs eternal" for some,),Yet there is that moment when you know that it is futile! Either you give up or aim in another direction, I chose the latter. Now is the time for me...What would make me happy? Now is the time to celebrate myself. Dream a little dream

The thing I wanted the most was love,that all consuming passion,that sharing,that hunger when seperated,that delight of looking into someone's eyes and seeing yourself reflected..You know the love I am talking about!
The day I realized it is not going to happen was the most dificult day of my life, It is when you ask your self the question "what's left? The answer is I still have me and I will move on and make myself happy! It is not about what other people think of you, it is how you love yourself... Etta James

So you see my Mother was right and if stopping in mid step to listen is confusing to others,( "Out of Confusion comes Understanding")Then I wear the Label Dizzy Bitch well...

Thanks Mom..  Feeling Good Randy Crawford..

Well Jazzlovers Until next time.

Keep the beat..

DW Jazzlover

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Paris and Aging

Street Artist Paris

Another Beautiful Day In Beautiful Bahrain

Hello Jazz Lovers.

I have not written for a while because I was not ready to give up on the wonderful  knowledge of the discovery of my love for my Father..I will write more about that place later,but today I needed to write..\

My first trip to Paris was in 1983, a dream come true because of Mr.James Baldwin and his experiences in Paris it was a must on my journey...James was so right, Paris in the early 80's was so wonderful..walking around the city was a dream come true..There was so much beauty every where I stepped ,the city was really magic in those days..I was young,cute and innocent a great combination because the city opened to me..The only thing I knew about Paris was what James Baldwin had written and I wanted to see it through his eyes..If you doubt that read "Just above My Head" and all his writings on Paris..

I spent hours walking, I spent hours at sidewalk cafes in Place St.Germaine, and my favorite cafe on the corner of Place St Michael.. this is still one of my favorite places...from that cafe you can see all of the Place St. Michael and in those days Paris as the fashion capital was seriously for of the beautiful things about Paris is that people watching is totally acceptable..and there were beautiful, stylish people every where you looked, it was wonderful, young and old were just the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!!I was for 2 weeks one of them, I dressed well and just enjoyed being a part of the parade...I was able to let my head go...I felt what James had felt, It was Ok to be an individual, I felt completely free!!!

Now I have never been shy about dancing and very hot club was recommended to me, and of course I went!!  Discothèque Haute Tension, (it is sad to say it is not there any more) was the hottest club I have ever been to in my life!!!There were 3 floors a quiet nice night club bar on the ground floor , I will skip the next level(Private knowledge) and the last level below ground was the disco, (a bomb shelter)and the music was tight,tight, tight...I knew no one but the didn't matter to me at all..I got on the dance floor because I was feeling the music, no one else was dancing at this time, until I got on the floor and the next thing I knew people were lining up side of me and across from me and staring hard,it was a little discomforting for a few seconds because I had been dancing with my eyes closed. Then I realized they were trying to pick up my steps..and Baby the party was on!!!For once in my young life I was the Belle of the Ball, it was a night I will remember for ever!!I got back to my hotel 3 days later..Truly a James Baldwin experience...

But Alas everything changes in 30 years even Paris,my favorite cafe is still there and it is still a pleasure to sit and watch the world go by but the young people no longer have that Paris Chic, it could be the streets in any US City,sneakers,jerseys,and jeans only.....But I dressed and still got attention,but the true reminder of what Paris was like was the French Women over 50, they were beautiful and very stylish and was worth every moment of watching,but the amazing thing was just how sexy they were and it was done with such class!!!They gave me a sense of continuation and of aging with beauty and grace was a serious possibility because they were living proof..The city itself has not changed Paris is still a very beautiful city..the younger people have changed, but if you sit quietly for a few minutes the elegnce and style that Paris is known for is very much alive !!! And so am I.. Thank you James!! It has been my pleasure..

Well Jazzlovers it time to go for a while, thank you for stopping by..

so until next time..

Keep the beat..

DW Jazzlover..