I am a Man, I am a Black Man, I am a Same gender Loving Man and I am Blessed

The beginning.

Hello Jazzlovers

Another Beautiful Day to be On This Earth.

I had an interesting experience this week that started me to thinking, Someone asked a few weeks ago why did I choose to be Gay? My Answer was " for the same reason I chose to be black." This week I was told that I don't act Gay! and that gave birth to this FB Post that I feel I should share with my Blog readers. So here goes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V21-8iJbThU    " I've Been here Before- Deja Vu "  Tina Marie

I prayed and debated a long time before sitting down to write this post! But after having 3 near death experiences, I feel I need to express exactly how I feel about Life and Gods Love. I had an interesting experience the other day when a neighbor said to me " You don't act gay! "My answer was how do gay people act? But it started a process of thoughts in my mind!
 

So I will attempt to explain my ...thought process after the question. To start with I am Male, second I am a Black male, and I am a same gender loving male, none of which I had a choice in being! Yet each one of the labels carry a different set of rules and perceptions of what each one denotes.
The known are I am not now, nor do I desire to be a female (I love my sistas with all my heart, Women are remarkable!). Being a black man carries it's own set of issues to be dealt with, Then add same gender loving man to that adds a whole new dimension to the equation!

 Same gender loving men who are not stereotypical confuses, ( down low) , Those with a strong X chromosome,( Effeminate) are more accepting, because they are more visible. Society deals a little better with this..
I support my effeminate brothers with all my soul because if not for them we would nor have the freedom we have today( Stonewall 1968), but my MENTOTRS were James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Bayard Rustin,( Father of the Civil rights Movement, Malcolm X, Hughie Newton, Men who loved men and still worked for out freedom. Their sexuality did not define their actions or their contributions to our freedom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj6VcS7gouU   Queen Latafah  "I know Where I've been"  

 Plato and Darwin were right about natural selection, we would all be a lot freer if we could love who we were destined to love. When heterosexuals ask the question when did you choose to be gay? My answer is exactly the time you chose to be straight!!

Now I know some of you are now going to throw the Bible at me! The same book they used with colorful beads and Missionaries that lured you and I out of Africa out of Africa and into slavery with! But I serve a Living, Loving God that intended me to be just who I am!! I know my time is short on this earth but I am so filled with gratitude for the gift I have been given to see the beauty and being able to create beauty and to keep a loving heart in spite of the hate I face every day of my life. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46XAah-olSw   "The Ways To Love a Man"

 I close by saying I am A Man, I am A Black man in every since of the definition and I am a Same gender Loving man and I have Loved and been Loved . I live-in gratitude of Gods love.

Jazz lovers I leave you with my Favorite Della Song, my theme song and I have been blessed enough to live it.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WVBkNez4bU  "The I have been looking for"

 

Well Jazzlovers until next time, 

 

Keep The beat!

 

D W Jazzlover

The Down Low

Hello jazz lovers

Happy Holidays.

I had an Interesting experience in Church today. I got the DL eye from a very unexpected place!!And No It will not Happen!!! I assure you of that fact. But it did start me to thinking..

I have just Finished J.L.Kings "On The down low" and realize he cashed in!! It is Hype for Women. I think I will Blog about my findings..He has finally admitted that he is Gay and yet does not want to be a part of the gay community! I understand that, he still has a lot of self hatred in his own life and made money on it..I offer no disrespect to the Man it is his life after all. I just see it differently that's all.

 I was born at the end of the 1940's and grew up in the 50's and 60's, I knew I was different very early in life and was not really like other Boys even though I like doing boy things and really enjoyed being a boy!

As I grew I began to understand what was what, I knew Fem guys and realized early that I was not "Like That". But at the time it was serious business not to be visible, the messages from Church, Family, and Society was not accepting of Same gender loving men or Women although for women they often got a pass due to men's fantasies of two women together. but for men it was totally taboo! 80% of the same gender loving ...men were on the DL or Closet the stakes were just too high to be visible, so a separate society was formed with in a society. There were meeting places, parks, greyhound, almost anywhere and He is right it is always eye contact.

In the 20's,30's 40's and 50's there was a code for those "In The Life" Certain color ties, The color of Hankies in a suit pocket, certain code words known in the cities example The term "A friend of Dorothy's". But as a whole a complete life to hide..When the gay revolution started in the late 60's, 1968 to be exact, things began to change in the White communities in larger cities but small towns and the south stayed the same even until today! We could not allow relationships to become visible in the Black Community, so the DL became a way of life..It will take decades for that to change..But no one is free until all are free!

The one good thing about his book is alerting women not to live in denial about their men it really can save their lives. But until the stigma of Men loving Men is removed DL men will be around for a long time.. He climes to accept his Homosexuality but if you really listen to him it is obviously clear that he does not. I do understand his thinking, All through time you are told your natural being is wrong and that you are not suppose to exist is a very hard row to hoe! people still think it is a choice. The only choice open to men is to live your life or live a lie. It is like Bleaching Cream is still one of the biggest selling products around the world. When You question my color you are questioning God and his creation, it is the same with sexuality. The DL was created by the society in which we live.
 
My Next Blog will be more in-depth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46XAah-olSw Della Reese To Love A man..

Only one song this time and until next time

Keep the beat!

DW Jazzlover

I Actually Wrote a Book!

Touchdown
Available on Amazon Kindle.


Hello Jazzlovers,

It has been a little while since I have been here. I keep my self busy all the time, since I have been away I have completed a Quilt, created a fabric, made new friends, and I actually sat down and wrote a book! This is the song I played a lot while accomplishing these things.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgBe0jmJBjw    Victoria Wilson James "Perseverance Works"

I am not really concerned that the book sells, the important thing is "I Did It." The accomplishment is what's important. I have been writing in a journal since 1979 and there is a book there too, but not yet, I am not ready for that. This was a book that came out of my head, it is a different kind of love story, and I know it is not for everyone. Life is happening all around us and it really could happen like I wrote it. I do believe it is possible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj6VcS7gouU  Queen Latifah " I know where I've Been"

I still believe in Love and I am a firm believer that the "The Lord Will Not Mind if It's Love," I read that some where when I was very young and held on to the thought all my life. Two of the characters in the current book has started to speak to me and I have started their story, "At Last Home"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwxM--iDH2c   Etta James " At Last" Live


Here is what I learned while writing this book! A healthy new respect for writers, I had to ger out of the way and let the Characters speak for themselves, they will say what they want to say, I learned I have forgotten good grammar! That was the hard part. But I did it anyway!!! I learned a book does not always flow start to finish but reveals bits and pieces of where it has been and where it is going and it was my job to understand that. It was a wonderful experience. And I am feeling good.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfJRX-8SXOs Nina Simone  "Feeling Good"

It is a brand new day for me My Friends.

Until next time Jazzlovers

Keep the beat.

D.W. Jazzlover.

Jason Collins

Jason Collins


Hello Jazzlovers it is a beautiful day today!

It has been a minute since I have been here, I have been too busy living life. The above photo took my breath away when I saw it, and the story brought tears to my eyes. The Oprah interview just filled my heart with joy as I listened to his Family support him with so much love that I just had to write today for the future.

 

The Collins Family

 

 

Jason is smart, articulate, and just a Beautiful Youngman  and I applaud him and will keep him in my call to the Universe for His Happiness. It took an incredible amount of courage for him to come out at this time in his life, it is never easy no matter what age. He is surrounded by
his families love which was so clear in Oprah's interview which is the only important factor in his decision to come out! My respect for him is so deep on so many levels and I will attempt to list them here.

It took an a lot of courage for him to step forward now, and I do understand why, The Man has integrity and could not live a lie any longer and was secure in his families love to finally make that step. ( Most gay people have only two choices in life! To live a Lie or live their lives..usually outside the family) Living a lie is not easy for you can never let your guard down for even a second!! His Twin Brother's response brought tears to my eyes, to Para phrase Jarran said " He is my older Brother and has always looked after me. I love him and support him and if necessary I will protect him" ,a powerful statement. I have that kind of love from my brothers too. In the Black Community that reads true love..

Why now You might ask? Why is this important now? Well for one thing this Man has lived with this secret for 34 years and it obvious he has never acted on it!! To me that is amazing strength of character and it means he must have walked around with an amazing amount of Pain!
But it became obvious to me  when Opra asked him if "he lived in fear of someone Outing him?" He replied at once "No!" which means he is still a Virgin and has never acted on his desires! Integrity! Totally breaking the stereotype of what Gay People are! And it explains how huge this battle was for him! It is important to My generation because each of us know exactly hard that is! We face isolation, rejection, ridicule, and even violence and death just to be ourselves and that is just in our own communities., A lot of Gay people leave and end up in Gay Ghettos in major cities and countries that have a semblance to tolerance. That too is an illusion.

   

This is also Important for all of us because his is a Beautiful Soul that fits in with society vision of a man!! He breaks the stereotype of what a Gay man looks like, and acts like, he looks and acts like everyone's Idea of what a Man looks like and He is not a child of the Night!!! Which is where they think most of us are!! Jason Collins is a Man in every since of the word!! And I cannot be more proud of him is he was my brother, son, or my friend. I remember living a double life and it takes a lot of energy to maintain that. We as People of color are finally coming into our own as a free people, I for one am so grateful for this wonderful Young Man and I am so Grateful to his Parents raising him with such Love..!!! He is Worthy!!

Why once more is this so important!? He is opening a door for Young Kids fighting this battle every day all over this world that feel there is nothing to live for, that have no hope, that they can not live their dreams because they are Gay, Jason Collins has opened their world to new opportunity in the sports world, in other words they really can be anything they want to be. Jason has in stepping forward given a lot of Young People hope !!!

God Does not make Mistakes Jason and You are living proof. I am so grateful for you and support you with all my heart, I fell in love with your Family you are truly Blessed and I am so grateful to have lived to experience your moment in the Sun. You will always be remembered and celebrated.

Thank You!!

God is Love!!

Now Jazz Lovers You Know Della has one song that fits!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4EsZ84Q08g  Della Reese!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iujQ8_S6A4  "I've got to be me" Della Reese

Until Next Time
Keep the Beat..

DW Jazzlover